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==b0601000== {{spoiler|start}} Hank Hoffman Jr.: Howdy there! I been waitin' for y'all to come on by! Hank Hoffman Jr.: I jes' been shootin' the breeze with them there folks y'all done sent on down here. Hank Hoffman Jr.: Looks like this ol' place is finally startin' to git a-hustlin' an' a-bustlin'! Hank Hoffman Jr.: But it still ain't nothin' much more 'n a cowshed an' an outhouse right about now. Hank Hoffman Jr.: You jes' gotta help me keep on bringin' the folks a-flockin' into town, Hero! Hank Hoffman Jr.: By the by, there's a little somethin' I was fixin' to ask y'all... Hank Hoffman Jr.: But I cain't very well stand 'round out here shootin' the breeze all day long. Drop on by my little house on the prairie when you git yourself a minute. Hank Hoffman Jr.: I done built me a little place jes' nearby. Y'all come on down there an we'll have us a talk all about it. Hank Hoffman Jr.: I only jes' got done though, so it ain't exactly purdy yet. Tell you whut - take a mosey round town first, gimme a chance to git 'er cleaned up, y'hear? (*): You there! Have you heard? (*): But I haven't even told you anything yet. Fine, whatever. (*): This is a new town, founded by a visionary fellow by the name of Hoffman. (*): Anyway, it's brilliant here. I've only been in town five minutes, but they weren't bothered in the slightest about me setting up a little shop. Frog: (yawn) Goodness me. I know it is said that the sleepy fox seldom has feathered breakfasts, but is it not also true that one slumber invites another? Frog: I feel as if I have awoken from a slumber of one thousand and one years... Frog: Oh, good day. And who might you be? Frog: Hero (and esteemed companions), I am most honoured to make your acquaintance. Frog: I am...but a simple frog, who has by chance learned the language of humankind. Frog: Were you aware of the rumour that a magnificent castle once stood upon this very spot? Frog: Indeed, in ancient times, this was a thriving bazaar, alive with nomadic peoples. Frog: Oh yes, this surely was once a kingdom whose fortune was built on trade with distant lands. Frog: But now it is no more than the arid expanse you see before you. Frog: But you youngsters are aiding in the efforts to restore this humble hamlet to its former magnificence, are you not? Frog: I do little but while away my days in idleness here by this pond. Pray, come and speak to me again when the town is further restored. Rrrribbit! Frog: But I must detain you no longer. Mr. Hoffman awaits you in his dwelling-place, does he not? Frog: He spoke of the necessity of your cooperation in the further development of this humble settlement. Frog: I shall sit here and await the town's rising from the desert sands with patient anticipation. Rrrribbit! Rocky: Well, if it ain't old Hero! It's me, Rocky! How ya doin', huh? Rocky: All's I gotta do now is work hard, an' all our dreams'll come true. All I want is for Adrian to be happy. Adrian: I swear - guy loves his work more than he loves me! From mornin' 'til night he's out in them fields slavin' away! Adrian: Here we are nooly married, and we're straight into the hard life. I guess it's in his nature. He always was a fighter. (sigh) Hank Hoffman Jr.: See y'all in a little while. (*): Peace be with you. I am a wandering nun. My heartfelt thanks go to you for teaching me of this place. (*): I have consulted with Mr. Hoffman, and he agrees that I should help you to the best of my ability. (*): I believe I can be of most use to you at Mr. Hoffman's home, so I shall retire there and await your orders. (*): Please, take your time to relax and enjoy yourselves. Goddess go with you. (*): Arrr, you there! Ye be a traveller unless I'm much mistaken. So have ye heard tell of this fabulous new city of plunder and wonder? (*): I've been itchin' to weigh anchor and set sail for new shores, so I have. Do you want to tell him about Hank Hoffman Jr.'s frontier town? (*): Arrr! Ye're yankin' me anchor! Such a place really does exist? Then I'll set me a course for that there town right away! (*): But shiver me timbers, I'm forgettin' I've a shipmate in tow! (*): The lubber should be down there in the inn. Be a mate an' pass on the glad tidings. (*): O' course such a fabulous land don't really exist. Arr well. Prelvis Esley: Howdy there, hound dog. I'm Prelvis Esley, an' I've been travellin' this little ol' world with a companion o' mine. Prelvis Esley: But lately I been gettin' tired of this ol' travellin' game. I'm hankerin' for a little less navigation, little less action. Do you want to tell him about Hank Hoffman Jr.'s frontier town? Prelvis Esley: (Pioneer Town), huh? You know, they say anyplace is paradise, but that sounds mighty fine to me. Prelvis Esley: I'll grab my travellin' buddy an' head on down there. Thank you very much! Prelvis Esley: Aw shucks. When will I ever find my promised land? Rocky: Say, did you meet that noo merchant in town? Guy told me a little somethin' the other day... Rocky: Word is, there's some wiseguy sits around in the church down there in Burland talkin' about how he wants to start himself a noo life someplace else... (*): ...Oh, but I don't need to tell you that - you're the one who introduced me to the place! Tsk! You could have told me it was you and saved me the trouble! Rocky: We done met up wid my old pal Hank, and he's doin' real good. We settled in pretty nice too. Adrian: Hero! Honey! Well, ain't that somethin'! How ya been, huh? Better than my Rocky, I'll betcha! Hank Hoffman Jr.: I should be right about done once y'all've got yerselves an eyeful o' jes' how dandy this little town's a-lookin' lately! Prelvis Esley: Howdy there, hound dog. Remember me? Uh-huh-huh! The name's Prelvis Esley, and I'm much obliged to y'all for tellin' me o' this here carny town. Prelvis Esley: Seems they only just got started puttin' the place together though, huh? There's a whole lotta buildin' goin' on! Prelvis Esley: But it don't matter none. Bein' here from day one'll give me time aplenty to sing the place's praises! (*): Arr, so this be the fabled town o' (Pioneer Town), be it, shipmate? Ain't much to speak of yet, is she? (*): But this here'd be a bonny spot to build a tavern, eh? Entertain a trav'ller or two... Sink a cup o' grog... Yaharr! (*): Seems to me I met a lass keen to start herself out in the innkeeping trade, now ye mention it... Arr, 'twas in a fair city of canals, so it was! (*): Howdy there! Y'all are wanderin' folks now, aren't you? Will you hear a fellow traveller's tale? (*): I've been everywhere I could think of lookin' to set me up a nice old inn, but ain't nowhere good enough showed up yet. This place least of all... (*): Why, I can't think for all the water flowin' every which-way! What'll I do - ask my guests to sleep on blessed rafts? (*): Y'all ain't happened across a nice little town where a girl might set herself in business now, have you? Do you want to tell her about Hank Hoffman Jr.'s frontier town? (*): Well now, how did I never hear of such a place? I'll pack my bags and head along there right away! (*): ...Oh, but I can't very well leave town without my beloved pooch Bobby now, can I? (*): Most days, we're inseparable, but we got all muddled up in this crazy maze of waterways, and now I don't know where the little dear has gotten to... (*): I'd go look for him myself, but I do declare, I am just shattered! Would you be an absolute doll and find him for me? (*): Oh, you are a dear! (*): Well now, that is a shame. I thought bein' the travellin' type, y'all mighta heard o' someplace... (*): Arf! Arf! Aooo! Do you want to reunite him with his owner? (*): Rrrruff! (*): Oh, would you look at that! You found my Bobby! Why, you are just the sweetest! (*): Now, dearie - you said the place was called (Pioneer Town), didn't you? Do come visit once my inn's up and runnin'! (*): C'mon now, Bobby, dear! (*): Rrrarrf... (*): Well, I do declare! If it ain't my old travellin' friend! I'd like a word with you! (*): Y'all told me to come down here and start my little inn, but there ain't so much as an outhouse to speak of! What kind of a town do y'all call this? (*): (sigh) Ahh well, I'd best roll up my sleeves, hadn't I? If it's an inn I want, it's an inn I'll have to build! (*): Now, where has my Bobby gotten to? (*): Little darlin' does so love to dig for buried treasures. (*): If y'all see him out there rootin' in the dirt, you could do worse than take a look-see at what he's uncovered... (*): (whine) Aooo! Prelvis Esley: Uh-huh-hm? Where might you find my pal, you say? Why, cryin' in the chapel, o' course! Frog: I hear tell of your having blessed this place with a new name, friend. Pray, what name did you choose? ...(Pioneer Town)? Hmm... Frog: Yes, this will work well... It is a name with... room for growth... Frog: I shall sit here and await the town's rising from the desert sands with patient anticipation. Rrrribbit! (*): What's that ye say, shipmate? Ye've spoken with the scurvy dog a'ready? (*): Arr, ye're a goodun'! A thousand thanks! Seems there ain't nothin' left to do but set sail for the promised land! Anchors aweigh! This must be Bobby, the dog the old lady was looking for. (*): You there! Have you heard? (*): But I haven't even told you anything yet. Fine, whatever. (*): I moved from my previous kingdom to this land of the free - free trade, that is! (*): I hope one of the surrounding countries finds oil or some other resource we need, so we can go inva- er, I mean, democratise them too. Frog: That most terrifying-looking gentleman who arrived in town recently almost trod upon me mere moments ago! Frog: This is only the second time I have endured such a hair-raising brush with death. Frog: The first time was when I became accidentally entombed at the bottom of a well. Frog: It was necessary to hibernate for a considerable period after undergoing such a harrowing ordeal. Frog: I wonder how long I slept for altogether... Rrrrrribbit! Frog: Great merchants once sold a veritable treasure trove of rare artefacts at the castle that stood in this place. Frog: And not only that, envoys from distant lands also brought great offerings to present to the castle's inhabitants. Frog: If this town were to develop into a mighty castle also, wondrous shops and splendid treasures too might appear. Frog: I look forward to such a felicitous day. Rrrribbit! Prelvis Esley: Howdy there, hound dog. I'm Prelvis Esley, an' I spend my days travellin' this little ol' world an' spreadin' the joy o' song. Prelvis Esley: This here's the finest little boom town in all the world. Viva Las (Pioneer Town)! Prelvis Esley: There ain't no suspicious minds round these parts, just proud pioneers makin' an honest livin'. It fair fills my heart with song just to be here! (*): Arr, I was a rash one in me younger days an' no mistake. A real loose cannon. (*): I plundered a crown o' gold...why, I even did me a little kidnappin'... (*): But then I met me a fellow, greater even than the greatest sea cap'n, who set me on the right course, an' now I'm a changed man. (*): I been performin' good works, buildin' a church to stand like a beacon for travellers who've strayed off-course an' such. (*): 'Course, me faith is still tested once in a while. Why, only today I had to stop meself dancin' a hornpipe on a poor little froggy's head. (*): By the by, I heard tell of a great city once stood on this spot, name o' Pioniria. (*): But that great castle town was sunk beneath the sandy waves o' the desert by an evil sorcerer, and its king cursed to take a strange new form. (*): (whine) Arf! (*): Ruff! Rocky: I can't figure out why, but lately Adrian don't seem too good. Rocky: I sure hope I ain't done nuttin' to upset her. Adrian: I told ya I don't wanna talk to you right now! (sob) Adrian: Huh? Oh, sorry. I thought you were Rocky. Adrian: Guys just don't get it, do they? (sob) There's a book called "Chronicles of Pioniria". (Character) takes it from the shelf and reads an excerpt. "When the town once more becomes a castle, his body shall rise again from the pot in the south-western room. "Then, from the depths of the castle, from deep within a treasure chest filled with pain, his heart also shall rise. "And finally, the Sultana of Pioniria's most treasured possession...in a treasure chest locked in a cell...the gift of her beloved king." Prelvis Esley: Howdy there, hound dog. I'm Prelvis Esley, an' I spend my days travellin' this little ol' world an' spreadin' the joy o' song. Prelvis Esley: I heard tell that some hard-headed woman an' her big hunk o' love went in search o' pirate treasure in a big ol' cave somewhere. Prelvis Esley: If they done had a dream, an' they wanted to follow that dream, they coulda done worse than invest their hopes in this here beautiful boom town. (*): Oh me oh my, I'm tired of the wanderin' life. (*): My husband brought me here, said he wanted to try and find the pirates' treasure. (*): Ain't there a town somewhere I can settle down and live the simple life? Do you want to tell her about Hank Hoffman Jr.'s frontier town? (*): (Pioneer Town)? If it's a town that's on the up-and-up, maybe I could open up a shop there... (*): But what would my husband say? He went down into the depths there to see what he could find. (*): I wonder where he's gone and got himself to now. Streo Louse: Howdy, I'm Streo Louse. I been sittin' down here in the sound o' this here waterfall an' havin' me a good ol' think. Streo Louse: I been thinkin' on what them pirates must see when they finally git their hands on a treasure they done set out to look for. Do you want to tell him about Hank Hoffman Jr.'s frontier town? Streo Louse: Hmm. (Pioneer Town), you say? Well, we visited a few places on our travels, but we ain't fetched up there yet. Streo Louse: Thank you kindly, traveller. We'll head off right away. Streo Louse: My poor wife. All she wants is to find a town somewhere she can set up a little shop. If only I could give her what she wants... Streo Louse: I jes' don't know the answer. Guess it's 'cause I ain't a pirate myself. Streo Louse: Anyhow, I also been wonderin' if there ain't somewhere me and my lady wife can settle down. I been draggin' her every which way, poor thing. (*): Hey, you're the one told us all about this place, huh? (*): Dreamer that I am, I thought I'd be able to just show up and set me up a shop right away, but it seems it ain't quite that simple. (*): I need to do me a little research first. Mayhap I'll ask that there item shop feller for a tip or two... Streo Louse: Howdy, I'm Streo Louse. I been thinkin' on the history o' this here boom town. Streo Louse: History's kinda like a piece o' woven cloth - yer warp is yer people, and yer weft is yer place, if y'all git my meanin'. Streo Louse: Or is it t'other way around? Shucks, now I done got myself all mixed up. Streo Louse: Speakin' o' warps and wefts an' all... Streo Louse: I done heard tell of a ornery ol' weaver lives in a village by the side of a big ol' river someplace. Streo Louse: Reckon I might be able to figure out my theory a little better if I could speak with someone knew the trade purdy good. Streo Louse: I done asked all the tailors an' such in town a'ready, but ain't a one of 'em been able to help me none. (*): How do? Zack's the name. Lately master weaver o' this here town. You got business with me, young 'un? Zack: Good. Then listen up - I got me a problem. Y'all wanna hear it? Zack: It's like this, see: I can't for the life o' me decide where to spend my twilight years. Zack: I done wound up a long life o' weavin' for the folks o' this ol' place, an' now I'm lookin' to git me to pastures new. Zack: Y'all don't happen to know of anyplace an ol' coot might spend his dotage? Do you want to tell him about Hank Hoffman Jr.'s frontier town? Zack: Hmm, that don't sound half bad... Reckon I might git me some peace at last, someplace where I don't know nobody... Zack: Much obliged, young 'un. I'll pack my bags and light out right away. Zack: Naw? Then I don't got no need o' y'all. Go on, git! Zack: Then I don't got no need o' y'all. Go on, git! Zack: Then I don't got no need o' y'all. Go on, git! Zack: Gah, what is it now? You got business with me, young 'un? Zack: Zack's the name. I done moved to this ol' place to see out my twilight years. You got business with me, young 'un? Zack: Well, I don't got no business with y'all, neither. Zack: I done moved here to retire, but there ain't even so much as a hogshed to lay my head in! Zack: Guess I don't got no choice but to sit tight 'til such time as somethin' I like the look of gits built. An' I don't need no company while I wait, so git! Go on, now! Zack: Hey, wait just a minute. I didn't recognise y'all. I got a little somethin' for ya first... Zack: Word is, there's a feller down in some dwarf town someplace wants into the priesthood, and's seekin' hisself a church to run. Zack: They only just done got started with the chapel here. Reckon this town might be in the market for a minister, if y'all catch my meanin'... (*): Hmm... What am I to do...? (*): Having devoted myself to the service of the Goddess for some years, I returned here to Rosehill with a view to spreading Her word to my own people. (*): But it seems that foreign missionaries have taken it upon themselves to establish a church in my absence. (*): A sister of the faith even tends to the needs of the animals within the tower... (*): Her work is being more than amply done here... (*): Does a town somewhere lack a priest? Have you perhaps heard tell of such a place, wanderer? Do you want to tell him about Hank Hoffman Jr.'s frontier town? (*): Can it truly be? A new town, and a new church besides? This is divine providence indeed... (*): You have my thanks, wanderer. I shall journey there forthwith, and offer my priestly services to this place of pioneers. (*): But of course you have not. The Goddess does not offer Her guidance quite so easilly... (*): Well met, old friend. As you can see, the people of this town accepted me as their priest. And all is thanks to you. (*): Now, to business... {{spoiler|end}}
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